I just wanted to write something today. I have no idea where I am at spiritually but mentally and emotionally I am spent. I've been drinking again. I got myself involved with this crazy Iraqi girl who told me all types of crazy things about my ex. I think she is just trying to make me stop thinking about her so I will like her. I don't trust her but I find myself with her because I have nothing better to do and I am lonely. My ex supposedly got married. I got drunk and sent her a crazy email about how I still love her even though she is a liar. I really think I am crazy.
I still think about being a Muslim sometimes but I am scared and unsure. I like some things about it but I don't like some other things. My two roommates are Egyptian Christians and they tell me how they are treated badly by the Muslims back home. I feel like they wouldn't like me anymore if I became a Muslim. Also, my friends and family would not be happy either. The funny thing is, I find myself always attracted to Muslim girls now.....
